The Road To King

Did you catch the season finale of Modern Family last night?  That whole storyline with Mitchell and Cameron really hit home for me.  It really is  such a long road when you are a gay couple wanting children.  Granted, not as difficult if you are a lesbian couple since you can order “baby making juice” off the internet now.  LOL!  Still, it was a long road for us.

It was 2006 that we really started the process.  We looked into international adoption, but most countries were not open to same-sex couples at that time so we ultimately ruled that out.  We looked into adoption agencies in our state (North Carolina) but no one wanted to work with a same-sex couple.  We looked into a surrogate, but the cost was as much as our house (and it wasn’t even a guarantee)!  So eventually we learned about the foster care program and felt that it was a good sign when the county where we lived in North Carolina was not turned off that we were two males.  So in 2007 we took our MAPP (Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) classes and by 2008 we had a 3 month old baby boy placed with us for fostering with the possibility of adoption.  His name was King and even though I tried so hard not to get too attached to him, I fell head over heels in love with him.

So as you can imagine, Dad and I were heartbroken 6 months later when he was placed back with his biological father.  Sounds tragic, doesn’t it?  It sure was at the time.  BUT that was not to be our last time with King.  His father saw the bond we had with him and the love there.   They lived about 4 hours away from us but he kept reaching out with updates and texting pictures of King.  I still remember the day that we became King’s god parents.  That was nothing we ever expected but it sure meant a lot especially when his dad asked us and said, “This way you will always be involved in his life.”  That was almost 3 years ago!  So sometimes good things come from heartbreak.

Looking back when King left us, I didn’t want to do it again.  Everything we had in the house reminded me of him and I remember locking everything away into the nursery because I didn’t think I could take the hurt if we lost another.  Last night’s episode of Modern Family reminded me of that. So for those who are thinking about kids, trying to have kids, or want more kids…  even though there is heartbreak and pain along the way, just remember there is always a plan for us regardless of how it appears at the time.  Look at us…  we now have two wonderful boys of our own and we wouldn’t trade them for anything!

Oh, and I wanted to mention that our god son, King just celebrated his 4th birthday this past Sunday!!  Happy Birthday, Buddy!  We love you!

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